Friday, December 9, 2011

December Thoughts Before 2012

Hi everybody, I still am in the clutches of Fibromyalgia and as I hear the song, “All She Wants To Do Is Dance” in my head, all I want to do is sleep!!!! Meanwhile the coast is clear for takeoff. No nits, no lice, no kids home sick, nobody dying to stand in the way of my networking and getting my writing noticed that I have been repeatedly told has and will continue to make a difference. Or is this the way it’s meant to play out. For me/us to always have something to overcome, a weakness, a “Tikkun”… Is the playing field leveled off when it is up to us to transform our weaknesses into strengths and to utilize those strengths to contribute to not only our’s and our loved ones health and happiness but our communities as well? As I sit here in anticipation of being productive some more before rewarding myself with a nap… gasp, I think about my life so far…My children are thriving thank G-d while tweaking their needs and fulfilling their passions along the way….The pressure I am putting on myself to assist in not only my school auction but now my temple, Chabad’s auction as well. To network to get my writing for television noticed so that not only can I make a difference in my life but in the lives of others as well. To once again be financially independent after being the “non financially supportive mom” I wanted to be….Sorry, I am not a stay at home mom since if I stayed at home nothing would get done and how can I be a valid full time mom when my kids are school. Aren’t we all full time parents once we choose to be a daily part of their lives??? And “Homemaker” don’t even get me started…..The so-called Wordsmiths still haven’t got that one right….. We all have stories, for better or worse…We can not and will not get by in this lifetime alone…We need each other’s donations of items, time , money, compassion, support, encouragement, wisdom, knowledge, non- judgment to not only survive but thrive…. But when there is so much drama how do we do it??? By the grace of our G-d, go us…..We all want to be fulfilled both physically and spiritually. When one person hurts we hurt whether we want to admit we care or not.. We are human…..Yet there is a fine line between love and hate….Strengths and weaknesses.. The past, present, the future…..likes and dislikes…….life and death, to have and to have not etc… My point??? Who knows??? I just felt pushed to write as I anticipate seeing my first Featured Extra role in a movie “New Years Eve” coming out this evening…I got myself into the doghouse with my husband and was called certain adjectives by family and friends (nothing you haven’t heard of before) upon revealing my one of four winning bids to appear in this movie as well as get star treatment behinds the scenes during filming…The conversations I had with household names were life altering and validating for me and I am hoping to use this as a springboard to get my so called brilliant writing noticed…What is brilliant anyway if we all have weaknesses and are human and make mistakes??? Maybe that’s just me???? No regrets whatsoever no matter how silly I look…Just something to cross off my list of things to do before I TURN 50…Yikes… Well, the list of things to do before I turn 40 that I have from “THE STAR” magazine from when I was in 20’s is pretty much done, so why not think bigger, crazier…I mean who hasen’t…….by now LOL….. I am grateful for your support as I move on in this so called life of mine as I/we try to navigate the good, the bad, the ulgy, the disappointments and the unlimited possibilities in this lifetime. I encourage us all to remain steadfast in being the compassionate game players that we are while taking moment to stop and enjoy, embrace and help and share along the way….. PS Please overlook the typos or this would never get done!

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Integrating Our Agenda with G-ds Agenda

Hello!! This blogger is back after a bit of an unexpected break from writing. Most of you know that I have been suffering from and have been proactive with my struggle with Fibromyalgia aka Fibromyfu@kingalgia.

But, this isn’t about my battle with the “F word”. This is about my trying to understand my life and my role in it. You see instead of going with my interest and blogging about my family’s fun filled, fast paced family vacation in Hawaii and how I just wanted them to not just have fun, but not fall over the side of a cliff and not be taken or get lost, I am writing about something I have been pondering about lately…How do I/we go about incorporating our agenda with G-d’s.

I have been wondering about this since I got back from Hawaii in time for Kevin and Sara to start school. I got Kevin and Sara on track with school and then I found myself going backwards. Sleeping from an exhausting yet exhilarating vacation ( I did it, I had fun even though I had to take daily naps and monitor what I ate) and not being able to find my groove because my responsibilities and lack of good health were getting in the way of my intent, my certainty of becoming the Hollywood writer I want to be and vision becoming. How can I be the writer mom and wife I want to be while being motivated by seeing daily signs from meeting somebody in the industry or seeing something written or mentioned that I thought or wrote about that day if not earlier.

How do we stay focused and on track when the universe throws us curve balls or devastation that takes time if not years to recover from. What’s a soul to do??

No matter what career we choose, (even us family nannies and housekeepers, moms don’t stay at home full time) we are making a difference in the lives of others. We know that any word we say or action we take can make a difference in somebody’s life. So.. Why all the drama and devastation, to throw us off our game? How do we not just survive but thrive when we feel we are once again forced to overcome more obstacles, whether it be emotional or physical to achieve our life’s goals.

Some of you know by now that I have been involved with Kabbalah for the past year and a half. It’s been a spiritual journey that has not been about finding G-d, but bringing more light into my life and less darkness. It’s been about dealing with my premonitions (amazing and yet sometimes evil) and picking up negative energy that few can pick up. For me it is another tool for me in playing the game I call life.. Just yesterday I was asked to share in my class about my past experiences with attracting negative and sometimes amazing energy and my past premonitions. One of the premonitions I shared was that of a thought a couple of years ago that a father was going to kill his family because of the depression (people were and still are depressed and losing homes to say the least!). I thought it was a bit strange and just told myself that it didn’t involve me and hoped and prayed for the best…THE NEXT DAY it was all over the news that some dad in California shot and killed himself and his family…This was the first domestic killing that was connected to the depressing economy… As I was sharing this story, I felt like another dad could kill off his family…..and… it did…Today it was on the news that a NJ father shot and killed his two young children before killing himself…..

I have been told it’s a blessing which I don’t consider it to be…It is what it is, sound familiar??? It’s an ability and I along with others I have conversed with, are being used as vehicles, messengers…Really?!
So I ask…How can I be the mother, wife and writer I want to be, vision to be, if I keep getting thrown curve balls. In what I have studied, learned, I am believing that because G-d wants us to grow, evolve, appreciate, do good for others and not the self alone, (make a difference), that bad things have to happen, it’s part of life. It sucks yet levels the playing field….I just wish there was a quota on how much suffering each person had to go thru!

So I guess our job is to keep our eye on what we want for ourselves, go with the flow (gives it new meaning dosen’t it?) and stay in the game even if we have to take a break.

How do you stay in the game??? How do you integrate your agenda with G-d’s???? Tell us!

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Kicking and Screaming Through Transformation

Hi everybody, I hope you all are managing and enjoying what I have heard to be the hottest summer on record. I guess this rules out the time my family and I experienced an unexpected heat wave in Ohio (mid 1970’s) while we were visiting our extended family where I ended up wearing my cousin’s summer clothes in early Spring, who knew? :-)

So it’s been waaay too long since I have blogged….I have been “Kicking and Screaming Through Transformation”, my expression of late as it has been working for me in my transformation from being an unhealthy unknown writer mom to becoming a better known and healthier Writer Mom.

Most if not all of us know that if we keep on doing what we are doing we are going to keep on getting what we are getting. It sounds so simple but is it really? I am not so sure…I have been told that old habits die hard and it takes 10 days to break a habit... My response…It can take sometimes take a life time if not longer….Who decided that breaking a habit takes 10 days anyway and why do we believe them?….Geez, why the drama and why can’t we just feel the fear and do it anyway or as I always say…”F$ck the fear, and just do it”. Or I can always rely on the good ole “False Evidence Appearing Real” …Then again I am always attracting that inspirational expression written on most TV sets or mirrors out on the streets waiting to get picked up…”Live Your Dream”… I am, I am, I am trying, over here :-)

So my question to the Universe is how can we not feel like we are in a mind battle when change is happening while in the process of turning our visions into reality or being forced to adjust to life altering changes that can be overwhelmingly challenging if not devastating.

I think that you will agree that we all want to be happy and be able to afford most things and experiences. As we get older and try to live the dream we have a vision of what we want our future to be like and nobody chooses to sign up for being a member of a club they never wanted to sign up for…The joys can be overwhelming such as marriage, children, new pet and the sorrows are sometimes unbearable and cause us to wonder if we can survive if not thrive because of THIS???

What has taken me a while to live by, is not what could happen or does happen, but how we respond to it…Yeah, sure right easy for you to say…You never had anything like A, B, or C, happen to you. All you authors and coaches….You just write about it, get an agent and get paid to tell us what we already know :-) :-)

To me transformation is as much of a process as growing from a caterpillar to a butterfly or moth. Not that I would know :-) but I would think it’s time consuming and terrifying….You know what they say…The struggle has to take place or it dies!!!

Being a sufferer of Chronic Fatigue I have learned the hard way that I can no longer ingest sugar, fake sugar and my other yummy foods. What??? You want me to eat “Beef for Breakfast”, protein and leafy greens? Yes, I have gone from eating cereal found in the health food stores, to eating cooked beef, Kale and other leafy greens such as Dandelion Leafs, say what? . They are yummy with Olive Oil or Coconut Oil I can honestly say that. You mean I can’t have my favorite yogurt, the Costco vanilla/chocolate twist, NFW?  Don’t take my yogurt away from me. So on my last Costco adventure, I could not deny myself my yummy chemically tasting yogurt, so I asked for a taste and surprisingly that was enough …Organic food only? You mean I can no longer eat what I have dubbed “Pesticides on a Plate”???? But, I love Restaurant Week, I can’t pass that up!!!! :-)…So I settled for one lux adventurous dining experience and “called in sick” the following day so I could nap off my overwhelming fatigue from indulging in a much needed scrumptious culinary and adventurous experience.

Recently one of my friends mentioned that a taping of a popular show was occurring in Central Park. So in my “F*ck the Fear” zone, I spoke with “The Big Guy’s” agent’s assistant last week and then hung out with my friend who was an extra as well as spoke with some of the “Big Guy’s” assistants yesterday… Denise…You did what????? “Why did you call his agent" ? I was asked??? Well… Because! Whether or not I garner any interest in my writing does not matter to me right now... Alright, it does... What matters to me is that I AM DOING IT!!!

No guts no glory, right???? So my dear friends, I am having “Beef for Breakfast” and calling Hollywood hotshots until I am the healthy Writer Mom I want to be…

What is your transformation??? What steps are YOU taking and what tools are YOU using????

Sunday, March 14, 2010

BULLYING

What can I say??? There have been one too many signs this year that have led me to think that this topic needs to be in our face…

I have now come to think of bullying as a societal disorder because by one definition, bullying means “To treat in an overbearing or intimidating manner.”

A bully is, by one definition, “A person who is habitually cruel or overbearing, especially to smaller or weaker people” You must understand bullying can cause irreparable harm on all physical, mental and emotional levels.

The reality is that it has always existed and always will. While reading that definition doesn’t it feel like you now have your eyes opened to the fact that we know or knew a bully and that we are unnecessarily putting up with this bull??? Unfortunately, we know via 24 hour access to the News that it can traumatize one for life or even so much as cause one to kill themselves and or others.

The difference WE can make lies in OUR society choosing to get involved as opposed to choosing to be a bystander (maybe not so innocent). I think that you will agree with me that bullying can and has led to hate crimes and ought to no longer be acceptable in our society. Nobody as a child thinks…”When I grow up, I want to be a bully”…By our society’s standards, it is acceptable to just stay out of it and not get involved because then we would most likely risk losing our or our children’s social status and that would just suck for us, wouldn’t it??.. Imagine that…Somebody having that much power over a group of individuals, be it work, home, school, Cyber space, extracurricular activities and even houses of worship. It’s socially acceptable to think that if one, heaven forbid, defend the bullied, they not only risk losing the friendship of everybody in that community but the risk that the hate continues and possibly manifests itself.

To drive these points home…One of my school friends told me this story last year. This nurturing friend of mine told me that she does not encourage her child to get involved in any type of bullying situation because as I stated earlier, her child will lose her friends. This real life event took place last year. A student was being mentally tortured by her classmates during a school play…Come on now…The teacher I was told couldn’t handle the situation well and thankfully this child has moved on to bigger and hopefully better things

Last week a friend of my son’s, “X”, told me that he was called retarded in summer camp last year…He was called this antiquated label by not only his fellow campers but by one of his counselors as well. Are we living in the 70’s people???? This “R” word is forbidden to be spoken of in my Special Needs world and I am a not only an advocate for my family but for others as well.


The other evening I was online with a Face book friend and learned that her child was being pushed down the stairs in school on a daily basis and nobody is stepping in!

Another child I learned was being pushed off a chair by a teacher and Principal because they have a health issue that causes them to fall asleep in school. Whatever happened to the “Pal” in Principal???

Think about this for those who feel less threatened by not getting involved….Wouldn’t you want somebody to help you or a loved one if they were being bullied??? Would you really want them to turn their back on you or your loved one and just move on??? ANYBODY, anytime, anywhere is susceptible to being bullied. I have quoted this before and I will quote it again….”We’re all in this together” (Well said HSM 1)!

We ARE accountable for not being strong enough to put a stop to the bullying in our communities. We all play a part in contributing to the wellbeing of others some of who could be our future leaders.

What would it take for you to join me in stopping this madness??? Do we really want to be responsible for our child ridiculing another for not wearing Uggs or Juicy??? It has happened!

I just find it bizarre that even today, going to the rescue of somebody in need is frowned upon by their peers. In blogging this, it all sounds so ridiculous yet we know its not, it’s very real and unfortunately it’s not going away any time soon unless we take a stand as a united front stop this insanity and teach our children well. It all starts at home and we know it…If not then how is it possible for me, and countless others to get picked on as children over their last name. How is it possible that in Kindergarten, my seven year daughter was told that sparkly pink boots were out of style and has since refused to wear them to school???? We as humans can ignore or turn a blind eye only so far…

Won’t you take stand and put the “bull” in bullying because isn’t this exactly what it is???….A BUNCH OF BULL!

Here are some links I think you might find helpful if not for yourself then maybe for somebody else:

Bullying At School

http://www.ask.com/web?q=Bullying+at+School&o=10472&l=dir&ef_id=1370:1:2412283121c103a5ac0be19ba2b46452_31311427011_231864052511:S5x4G9BbricAAC90J3sAAAFA:20100314054603

Office Bullying

http://www.livescience.com/health/070329_bully_tips.html


10 Signs You’re Being Bullied At Work:

http://www.forbes.com/2008/03/22/health-bullying-office-forbeslife- cx_avd_0324health.html

Bullying In Family and Social Relationships

http://www.bullyonline.org/familybully/index.htm


If any of the above information is helpful to at least one person, then I will know I spent my time well  Unfortunately, you might have to copy and paste the entire link should you not be able to click on the links themselves

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

More About Growing Pains

I don’t know…..My family and I were vacationing in Arizona last week and in some ways it felt like I wasn’t on vacation. Although I was I was out of my daily routine and having fun, I still had the usual daily thoughts validated by a recent conversation with one of my friends. All my thoughts go back to my children...Will they be ok??

My son Kevin (oh why not reveal his name, just don’t tell any kids ) is going into 3rd Grade and is what one would call a “student”. I am seeing his struggles though, as he is not having as much fun learning as the work is getting more challenging.

My daughter Sara (again, her name is just between us and not the kids ) is going into 2nd grade and so far so good although I wonder if she would benefit from a semi academic setting over the summer so she doesn’t have any setbacks.

I am told both kids are doing well socially and academically and I yet I ponder the future. KEVIN IS GOING INTO 4TH GRADE!!!!!!!! SARA IS GOING INTO 2ND GRADE...It ain’t gonna get any easier folks. Not that parenting is easy but it is without any doubt a joy I have never taken for granted and feel privileged to experience, tears and all! The other night while discussing Kevin’s upcoming 3rd Grade Science project, Kevin told me that “things are different then when I was little”. No kidding!

I wonder though..What does the future hold for these kids??? Will they feel confident enough to say “NO”????? Will they have teachers who can really measure up to OUR definition of teaching? Will my children be able to handle the peer pressure with dignity and yet still have a nice group of friends who accept them for who they are??? What is it going to be like when my kids hit puberty?? The whole locker room scene, both of them…I was a late bloomer (heck I feel like I am still blooming ), what if my kids are as well?? They both seem like they have the guts to say GFYS! When Kevin came home from camp one afternoon two summers ago, he complained that his hands were too small. WTF??? It was 2008…Who comes up with this stuff??? He was 6 years old at the time for crying out loud…

What is our world coming to when my child is concerned about the size of his HANDS and my daughter in KINDERGARTEN was told upon wearing her new sparkle boots, that sparkles aren’t “in” anymore…It’s Kindergarten, but, that’s where I was told at a parent meeting, “it” all starts.. Who knew???

All I can do is lay down the foundation for success by, along with other things, giving them strategies and guidance and pray for the best possible outcome.

I am feeling optimistic with the support systems in the schools yet I still worry Don’t you????