December Thoughts Before 2012

Hi everybody, I still am in the clutches of Fibromyalgia and as I hear the song, “All She Wants To Do Is Dance” in my head, all I want to do is sleep!!!! Meanwhile the coast is clear for takeoff. No nits, no lice, no kids home sick, nobody dying to stand in the way of my networking and getting my writing noticed that I have been repeatedly told has and will continue to make a difference. Or is this the way it’s meant to play out. For me/us to always have something to overcome, a weakness, a “Tikkun”… Is the playing field leveled off when it is up to us to transform our weaknesses into strengths and to utilize those strengths to contribute to not only our’s and our loved ones health and happiness but our communities as well? As I sit here in anticipation of being productive some more before rewarding myself with a nap… gasp, I think about my life so far…My children are thriving thank G-d while tweaking their needs and fulfilling their passions along the way….The pressure I am putting on myself to assist in not only my school auction but now my temple, Chabad’s auction as well. To network to get my writing for television noticed so that not only can I make a difference in my life but in the lives of others as well. To once again be financially independent after being the “non financially supportive mom” I wanted to be….Sorry, I am not a stay at home mom since if I stayed at home nothing would get done and how can I be a valid full time mom when my kids are school. Aren’t we all full time parents once we choose to be a daily part of their lives??? And “Homemaker” don’t even get me started…..The so-called Wordsmiths still haven’t got that one right….. We all have stories, for better or worse…We can not and will not get by in this lifetime alone…We need each other’s donations of items, time , money, compassion, support, encouragement, wisdom, knowledge, non- judgment to not only survive but thrive…. But when there is so much drama how do we do it??? By the grace of our G-d, go us…..We all want to be fulfilled both physically and spiritually. When one person hurts we hurt whether we want to admit we care or not.. We are human…..Yet there is a fine line between love and hate….Strengths and weaknesses.. The past, present, the future…..likes and dislikes…….life and death, to have and to have not etc… My point??? Who knows??? I just felt pushed to write as I anticipate seeing my first Featured Extra role in a movie “New Years Eve” coming out this evening…I got myself into the doghouse with my husband and was called certain adjectives by family and friends (nothing you haven’t heard of before) upon revealing my one of four winning bids to appear in this movie as well as get star treatment behinds the scenes during filming…The conversations I had with household names were life altering and validating for me and I am hoping to use this as a springboard to get my so called brilliant writing noticed…What is brilliant anyway if we all have weaknesses and are human and make mistakes??? Maybe that’s just me???? No regrets whatsoever no matter how silly I look…Just something to cross off my list of things to do before I TURN 50…Yikes… Well, the list of things to do before I turn 40 that I have from “THE STAR” magazine from when I was in 20’s is pretty much done, so why not think bigger, crazier…I mean who hasen’t…….by now LOL….. I am grateful for your support as I move on in this so called life of mine as I/we try to navigate the good, the bad, the ulgy, the disappointments and the unlimited possibilities in this lifetime. I encourage us all to remain steadfast in being the compassionate game players that we are while taking moment to stop and enjoy, embrace and help and share along the way….. PS Please overlook the typos or this would never get done!